Saturday, March 30, 2013

~~Happy Easter, My Beloved World: Life Post~~

Ian, will you please wake up sometime soon? You're sleeping the day away again, my gamer love....I miss you and god it's good to know that I CAN miss you. That I can long for your company, and the others that talk to me never being quite enough. It's maybe not love, maybe not yet, but hey it's a start right? It's a start to happiness and that's...all that matters to me.

I'm on the road to regaining my wings.

I will fly. I will make it. I was put through hell and god knows I have more than earned some revenge but it's not revenge I'm seeking. It's life. Life and love and god I love this world! I love this world....

Even though it's crumbling now, even though we have destroyed it and ourselves in the process, I love this world.

When it burns, I will take Ian's hand and we will dance in the flames.

If that's not love, if wanting to spend the last moments of my life with him isn't love, then I don't know what love is....

Do I know what love is?

To me, it's been lust and longing. Tragedy and distance and a hell of a lot of half-mad hope. Promises broken and promises made, just to cling to the idea that I am not alone. That I will never be alone again. To me, that's what love was. When I lost it it shattered me, for I gave everything I had just to not be alone. Just to not be alone.....

But right now, I'm never going to be alone again...Right?

He's always watching over me, dreaming of me....He always is. He ALWAYS is...

He can make me laugh with a word. Make me think with a statement. He can make me blush with a look. He can save me just by believing that I will make it....

Ian.....I love you, as much as I can bear.

I'm never going to desert you....

I need to need you.

I want to want you.

I would love to love you.

I would trade everything I have for you.

For you, Ian, for you.


My Ian.

So far away from me but yet so close, just out of sight....

Happy Easter, darling.

May it be a good dance when the world ends.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love you, random stranger. Thanks for dropping by, and for dropping a line. --Half Mad Writer