Thursday, January 31, 2013


I used to think I liked it
A tinge of cruelty melded with gentleness

I used to think I preferred it
Feeling owned instead

Of clinging to tattered ownership

But now, I think I've changed
I want to feel loved
I know what pain feels like
And I don't feel pleasure any more
I want to feel loved.

Is that so wrong?
To want to now be an equal?
Be...Be at the same level
The ones I love are at
Not sitting at their feet

I want to be held tight
And comforted
Not like I'm just a toy
I don't want that any more
Are there any complaints?

I hope not
If you care about me
Like you say I do
Then you'll understand
And let me grow

I can't stay that way
Not the girl I used to be
I want to grow, I want to heal
Is that honestly so wrong?
Is it so wrong to want to be free?

I hope it's not
Because right now I think I've found someone
I think I've found someone good to me
Who will always good to me
And will never cause me pain

God I hope I'm right
Because I'm putting my trust in him
I want to be with him
And...And if he wants to be with me
Then I'll be with him, and no one else.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

~~One Day.....~~

One day I'll be fine
One day it won't be an exaggeration
One day I'll be wed
And one day I won't wish I was dead

One day I trust I'll be fine
Because I do trust you

I do truly trust you
With every part of me

One day, you can hold me
And the world will fade for a while
And the while will be enough
Because I know I can sleep

Held so close in your arms
Listening to your heartbeat
As a single tear falls from your eye
And joins the tear I cry

Every shattered part of me
Every broken dagger of guilt
And every mark of my past
Is a part of me you love

How can I earn that?
How do I want that?
Sometimes I fear
What I want so much....

I want you
Nothing but you
Right here with me
In a way that I can sense

Wherever you are, do you feel
How much my heart aches?

I miss you so much
Waiting every moment

Wanting you to be here
And hold me close
I know I'll need to wait
But....I don't want to wait

I just want you....
I just need you
I know we say "One day."
I know we wait

But is it wrong to want
That one day
To just...
Become today?

~~An Honest Attempt~~

This life I lead
Is heartless and cold

No, I can't do this any more
I'm done pretending

But it's the life I chose
With all my mistakes

I never did anything wrong
I never wanted this

If I had never changed my mind
I know I would have done better

I chose wrong, so I changed
And tried to make life better

Life is cold
Life is empty

There's love in this world
I need to remember that

Whenever things change
I always can't adapt

I can change if I have to
Given the chance, I can recover

There's no time any more
The door is closed

It's never going to be over
Always a tomorrow

I've forgotten how to smile
It feels like a mask

I can laugh just fine
Even though it feels a little odd

I can't do this, I'm leaving
I'm breaking my promises

I'm never going to leave
Because I can never be alone.

Monday, January 28, 2013

~~Life's Been Good (Right?): Life Post~~

Hey, it's me again. Just letting y'all know that I am alive and doing pretty well. Rob, don't worry about me and please don't try to track me down. Who I was before....I want to forget, okay? I'll be fine, don't worry. I'm tougher than I look. ((Yes, I did get your e-mail. I just...Didn't want to reply. I'm sorry.))

Tomorrow is my last exam, and life...Life's worth it.

Life really is worth it.

Because of everything I lived through, I know I'll never have a normal life.

Ian...I know you said I shouldn't apologize to you. I know you said there was no need for me to apologize. But you know me. I`m always going to apologize because I never will feel good enough. I`ll always see everything you do as a token kindness, because that`s who I am. I`ll never feel good enough.

Now, please. Understand me. I don`t want you to feel like you need to fix that part of me because....I don`t feel like it`s broken.  I`m me. I`m amazing, I`m depressed, I`m lonely, I`m hurt, and I`m ME. Please, never forget that. Even with all the damaged parts of me, I still love who I am and I don't want to change.

I'm going to be fine....

And that's the bad part. All this time, it's never been a question of whether or not I'll make it out because I always WILL be okay. I'll never be anything but. If I was to lose everything....If the Mansion was to fade....If Raphael was to go....If you were to die....If my friends and family were to abandon me....I somehow know I'll keep going.

What does that say about me, I wonder? I'm so cold...Sweetheart I'm so cold.

I don't know how to feel anymore. I really don't.

Hun, when I think about you...My heart aches.

Ted, when I think about you....My heart aches.

But do you wanna know the best part of all this?

When I think about Adam, my heart doesn't react.

He's gone.

He's gone, and by the gods, good riddance!

My life is going to get better.

And I really hope that, one day, I can feel better.

I can laugh, I can smile, and by the gods I might just be able to love....

If I could only learn to figure out what it feels like!

Ted....I don't know if you'll read this, but I love you. I flippin' adore you. As much as cold and broken me can, I love you. You are my Glowstone, and may you always shine bright. We've been together almost a year, and god....Thank you. For sticking around so long. I know I'm not the best, I know I make mistakes, but thank you. Please don't ever feel like you're not good enough! Please don't....Because I feel like I'm not good enough for you. I've been beaten down. I've been hurt. I've been used in every meaning of the word. And, by the gods, I've hurt people a lot. Through lies, through leading them on...So much guilt and so many mistakes! And yet....You're still here. You still love me. You still love me, and I feel it. I feel how much you love me.

And...And it scares me. It makes the diseased part of me want to run away. I can't/won't/refuse to accept it. I don't want to accept it! How could someone love ME? So broken...So hurt....

But then the diseased part of me gets shouted down--and usually by Raphael in a weird mix of Italian and Angelican. He tells it: "You're amazing. I know you're hurt. I know you're broken. But you are not over. You can still keep going. God, little one, you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for....And you're amazing. You're a writer. You do deserve this."

And...Then there's this.

I've forgotten how to love.

Yes, unfortunately. I remember it....I think I remember it...Before Dylan left me for Marianne and Alexander broke me in so many ways. Adam was..the last person I really loved. I don't even know if I love Ted right now...I just think I do.

Ian......Always knew I didn't love him back the way he loved me. He always knew that I'm too scared, too hurt, too broken to come out of my shell enough to really let anyone in. I know I seem open, but....The diseased part of me is buried so deep that not even I can get to it. I know I seem loving and caring but it's a force of habit now. I do what people expect, and people expect me to be kind.

Ian's a weird guy. He's....Giving me absolutely everything he is, knowing he isn't going to be...the best. He feels like I might find someone else, and be happier with them. I think he's even waiting for that day. He doesn't feel like he's good enough for me. No one has. And that's the really bad part....

I feel so down on myself so much. I beat myself up for every mistake. I hate my body. I hate my voice. I'm so imperfect. And...And I've hurt so many people. How can they love me?

Now...Whenever someone tells me they're not good enough for me, it just feels wrong. I'm not perfect! I'm not good! Please....I don't care what you say, just stop saying that and...and don't leave me alone

Don't make me worry I'll need to leave you one day like I've left everyone else. Don't tell me I'll need to move on past you and find someone else. Don't tell me that! Don't tell me I need to do to someone else what I did to Adam....What I'm doing to Ted.....

Please, someone just....Stop being an idiot! Love me, yes, but.....Love me in a way that doesn't scare the living shit outta me. Don't make it all encompassing. I'm not ready for that! Just...Please. Please just love me.....

I'm...I'm scared. I'm scared I'll hurt someone. I could break Ian with a word. I could break Ted.

I don't want to do this any more!!!!!!

Is it so wrong to just....Want a good relationship?

I'm serious.

I want....Life to be normal.

For a while.

If it ever will be normal....

On a side note, I now have downloaded the e-book versions of Handbook of a Teenage Antichrist and Penpal. I'm never going to sleep again.

I'm just waiting for the story of a woman holding an orange to become an eBook....

Because I'm gonna buy it.

I'm gonna read it.

I'm gonna HATE it.

I'm gonna LOVE it.

And I'm never going to sleep again.


Life's been odd.

As per usual.

Love ya!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

~~It's Finally the End~~

I ran so hard
To try and flee
I always returned
Until now

I wept so much
Over what I did to you
Never realizing
What you were doing to me

My childhood you stole
My innocence you corrupted
The girl I used to be
Became nothing more than a memory

Your lies and wandering hands
Would always pull me close

Believing it was love
I would never fight

Praying to god it would be enough
I gave to you everything I could
Knowing that I would fail you
How often I would hate myself

You gave me everything
Or at least said you did
To you, I traded my body
For even the hope of love

And love you gave me
Or, at least, I thought you did
I thought you adored me
And would marry me

I remember so well

How many times you chose me
Over everything else

I even remember your reactions

To every little false confession
I would make, in hopes
To even the scores between us
I lost everything, in return for you

My pride a memory
I still wept over us

My innocence a black stain
I still longed for you

But now, I see the truth
It's over now, always has been
You never cared about me, did you?
And even if you did

You were married the entire time
Adam, you always lied
And you never cared....
You never cared

About the girl who you shattered
Who you made into a whore
Whose self esteem is still so low
And who may never recover

You were ten years my senior
And you always said I was so mature
No matter what I did
I was always an equal to you

But I guess I really wasn't
You played me like you would a game
Made me into who you wanted
Who you said you needed

I'm done....Please god I am done
I'm free from you, Adam.
I'm free
Wherever you go, good luck.

Just stay away from me
I'm done with this
No more goodbyes
It's finally the end.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

~~Never Had a Voice~~

Never had a voice to protest
As if I would use it if I did
You know more than most what I need
And why I always run back

I reach out to you
The Shadowed Memory
The Silent Man
And the Glowstone

I try to touch, but I'm burned
As if by flame
I pull my hand back, and watch
As the skin heals instantly

Back to the dark I retreat
To the inner pit of longing
When I imagine that I am alone
And can freely run

But don't think I'll protest
Being held captive by loving hands
I'll adore the kindness you grant me
While inside I curse myself for foolishness

I curse myself for loving
Those I know I shouldn't
Dreaming of someone undamaged
Who's strong enough to hold me

I curse the damaged ones
Who cling to me so tight
When I know they'll never understand
And should never see

Why I so often turn from them
And nurse my own wounds, accumulated
Through my own doing, more times than most
And wallow in my own self-hatred

Until it's time again to play your games
And I let you pull me from my shadowed hell
Where I so thrive
And into the light, where you kiss me gently

I don't protest your touches
I don't protest your kisses
I don't protest how much you care
I don't protest, because I'm dying inside

Just to know you're there
And that I'm really not alone
Even though, inside, I know I'm cold
At least in your company I feel something more

More than the self-hatred
More than the ever present fear
More than the cursed disease
And more than the eternal loneliness....

Monday, January 21, 2013

~~My French Oral Exam is Tomorrow: Life Post~~

~~Tomorrow is My French Oral Exam: Life Post~~

Greetings, my dear sweet loves. Greetings, my addictions and my friends. Greetings to all of you on this cold and lovely winter’s night.

Tis I, Angel, at long last deciding to once again grace you with her company. Yes, I am intending the poeticness of this writing. I am listening to Proud of You by the band 10 Years, and Raphael’s sitting on the lab bench to my left smiling. I can’t see him clearly but I know he’s there. I know he’s there with me.

I know Ian’s here as well. Somewhere, somehow, I sense his skinny ass in my company. Gah I wanna talk to him….I love talking to him. I don’t know what I’d do without him now….My Soul-Bonded. Created to be together. Meant to be together. How I curse his family and the gods for making him be born in Ohio, far too far from me.

According to google maps, 1,143 km away….

Now I am delightfully seated in history class. My stomach hurts and so do does my left thumb, as per usual. I’m quite a little disaster, am I not?

Ah well. Now I’m cold and I can’t wrap my sweater around my shoulders for…various reasons.

None of your business, dearest followers.

I’m feeling sick now….I don’t feel very well but I’ll be okay right? I’ll be fine. As per usual.

Raphael’s still wandering the Mortal Realm. He’s currently following me. I think he’s just watching me and laughing—he knows how much I hate this.

God, I can’t bring myself to study for history….I’m way too tired and my stomach is aching. It feels awful.

And now I'm in bed, feeling sick like I'm going to puke. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I can't...find the courage to do anything.

Not right now, not any more.

I'm weak but....Who isn't?

My heart feels hollow....I feel like I should be able to move past it now.

I should be able to...


After all, I'm used to it...So very used to it.

Used to all the pain.

To all the difficulties....

But right now, as life and love again war, where do I stand?

I feel that, if I choose life, I'll be allowed to get what I desire but not the kind of people I want.

If I choose love, I won't get what I desire but I'll have friends.

Can I balance it?

I hope so....

Saturday, January 19, 2013

~~Where Do I Go?~~

I feel like running once again
I can't stop my heart from racing
I want to go but who knows when
It'll be easy sailing?

Every bit of me hurts
From all the running I've done
The rain pours down in brief spurts
Failing to wash away the burns of the sun

No matter where I go
Can I ever escape it?
No, I guess I never will be able to let go
Of the remnants I keep of it

Of our time together, so long before now
Oh god, I can't forget this at all
Please someone just tell me how
How do I run before I fall?

Curling here, a stuffed toy
Pressed against a slowing heart
I think of all the joy
And try not to start

Crying once again for us
For all the pain
All the misplaced trust
Wishing I could see you again

Oh god, Adam why
Why do I still wish you were here
Why do I wish I could call you back with a cry
Instead of being filled with so much fear

Fear that you are gone

And I'll never again see you smile
I wish I could bring you back home
I'd give anything just to spend a while

Curled back up with you
Talking and laughing like we did before
I'd tell you about how I play Magic, and I know you
Would come barrelling down the door

Just to see me again....To see me smile, hear me laugh
I know you miss that, too

I still feel your ghostly touch
I would love to ask you

If you feel mine?
Do you feel my lips
Brush yours, tears a ghostly shine
Across my lips?

I hope you do
Because in the end I really miss you
And no matter where I go, I can't find you
Won't you let me run back to you....?

~~For Love~~

Seems like I'm determined
After all the dark has passed
To grab on tight and stay alive
Despite the ending dark
Am I ready for it?
I'll be okay, right?
I know it will hurt
But is it a pain I'm used to?
At least right now
I know it's worth it, right?
As Stepha gets better
So do I
And as I get better
So does my life
I don't regret anything
But, remember, I still
I still miss Adam....
How long has it been
Since we last spoke?
A very long time...
Far, far too long
If I could
I might still run back
If only to make sure
He still lived
I'm scared he killed himself
Over me....
Egotistical but possible, knowing how
People tend to act around me when in love
This poem really isn't the best
But I'm not done it yet
Maybe I'll find
A single gem
And find this one deserving
Of something like a title "For Love"
For love it is, for love it was
And for love that never will be
The end of you, the end of me
The broken heart and the loveless three

Lust, Love, and Heartbreak
A three-eyed monster

Always following
And always hunting....

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

~~Such a Little Girl~~

You seem so young
To have done so much
You've walked the earth
And fallen off its edge
At fifteen years, you've done more
Than I ever could have dreamed

But believe you me
That doesn't mean
You're ready for all of this yet
Slow down child, slow down
There's time for it yet
Believe you me, the world won't end

I won't let it end for you
I won't take away your light
I will defend you to the end
If you will only smile--
Whenever I hold you close
I know I feel you shiver

Please don't ever hide from me
I know you know I can see
I can see the tears in your eyes
And what hides behind your strength
I know it's just a mask
A mask I wish I could remove

You would shine so bright
If I could take away the parts of you
That seek to hide your light
If only I could
Show you what I see in you
But yet I know....

I know one day you'll shine
Live up to your potential
And stop pretending you're less
Than what you know you are
I know one day you'll see
What shines so bright in you

You, my dearest daughter
The firefly that flickers
The shattered Angel that will one day fly
The girl who plays Minecraft
And would die to see her friends smile

One day, you will hear me say
As tears run down my face
How proud I am of you
For everything you've done
Every battle you've won
And every pain you endured

For now, just remain
Secure in the knowledge that within you lies
A light brighter than the sun
A light that will never fade
A light that causes so many to love you
Because, in the end, you are my daughter.

~~Written by Raphael.

Monday, January 14, 2013

~~For Many Reasons: Notification Post~~

Hello dearest wanderers! Alexandra here with an update. As Raphael may have mentioned earlier, I'm working on a gigantic project for al you Figmented out there.

It's going to be a several page document that I'm guessing will be available for download. It'll be in Microsoft Word 2010 because screw you other programs, so haha for all of you who won't be able to see it. Well, if you are keen for it, I'll just email the thing to you entirely. I'll glare at you for making me work more, but I won't stop you teddy bears.

When I say big, it's going to be over thirty pages.

Which means it MIGHT be done by the weekend, but it likely won't be so please be patient with me.

The overly long title is currently: "The Absurd Overpowered-ness of the Mansion, the Insanity of the Realms, and Various Discussions on Fluffy Demons."

Have the CURRENT table of Contents!

Disclaimer and Message from the Figment Council
Message and Introduction by Raphael
Important Figures
Notes and Lists Pertaining to Households
Description of Realms
Languages and Bits of Translations
The Legend of the Joiner
A Few Angelican/Demonic Poems
A Final Word from the Transcriber Host Alexandra

For every important person, this table will be filled in:
Appeared Age:
Actual Age:
Preferred Weapons:

Yes. I am just torturing myself by doing this.

Luckily at the end of it, I won't have offended anyone too badly and now I'll have a really good place of reference!

And, well...It'll be good for planning tactical stratagems in wars.

So, it'll be worth it.

So, for many reasons, this blog is going to go back to barely posting daily.

Sorry loves...

Au revior for now! 

~~Found in Turmoil~~

There's a queer peace
Found nearing the end
Nearing the destruction

A queer relaxation
That enters the soul
When it knows it's going to die

Don't let it frighten you
The strange quiet readiness
For the end of all things

If it doesn't kill you
It will be the thing that saves you
It will keep you safe

Allow it to keep your heart from racing
From taking all control of you
Keeping away the weirdness

Calm down, please
It's the best thing for you
You're going to be fine

I know it can hurt
And I know it can get bad
But let it come

Be well and safe, my loves
Stay away from the dark
And always remember to breathe....

~~Better Off Than Before: Life Post~~

I'm healing, sweethearts. This broken angel is truly regaining her wings....

So many things I wish I could say, but honestly I can't even say it. So much I must keep hidden....So much I'll get hurt for if I post publicly about it. Suffice to say that there's so much I can't tell you, my dearest followers, but don't worry too much. I won't go yet, and I'm well defended. I'm not without allies in this.

But....I'm calling all Figmented. If you have imaginary friends of any form, ones that truly seem real and have their own personalities and interact with each other and/or are visible, PLEASE CONTACT ME. You're not insane by my standards, because I've got them to. Hell, I'm the one who started all this! If you have them PLEASE EMAIL ME at I will answer within a day or two at the most. I'll answer all questions and you can meet them all if you'd like. And, if you're lucky, I'll even go over everything I hinted at--with permission from those involved of course.

*Raphael walks into the room, seeing me typing out this blog post. He steals the laptop.*

Raphael here, obviously. I would like to inform you of the impeding romantic trauma my little one is about to endure.

You see, this weekend Alexandra almost broke up with Ted. You see, the pair of them are a very good couple but my little one isn't close to being able to do this. They were born out of her desperation to not be alone again and to have something real, but the differences in between them are far too much right now....He is enough for her and he does make her happy, but compared to how good some others are at making her calm down he isn't enough. Some others, such as Ian and Robert--okay, mainly those two amazing(ly messed up) men--are near gods at how good they are with her. They're both very good at psychology--even though Robert's the only one who's actually gotten the training--and therefore they can help her a lot more. Why, Robert's even going to be her therapist! She's too scared to go to anyone else...Even though she should. She does need help. She does need more than she's willing to admit.

I'm worried about her honestly...Because of new relationships, she's been up very late. And no they aren't even HER relationships! no longer with Raven. She's with Alex's friend Robert.


Yep that is happening.

It's a discouraged thing you know. Cross-Household relationships. Why? Because the Hosts..tend to have their emotions be influenced by their Figments. Which means it's REALLY good that Robert and Alex are good friends to begin with. So, they'll be able to just ignore that facet of their relationship and keep being good friends.

I like Robert. He's got a lot of secrets--and a lot of things we can't talk about--but I trust him. I'm a very, very good judge of character and as long as he treats that lil runt of a blond bombshell well--and does NOT get her pregnant for a while yet--I don't mind too much.

You know. I probably should interfere more in the business of my family. But lately, with all the company wandering in and out and all the preparations going on, I haven't had time! I'm cooking semi-continually, so this is the first time I've been free in around six hours. And I'm only able to post because I've gotten the kitchen staff to NOT blow stuff up anymore....I wish cooking was a genetic skill. Jace is useless. He should just stick to making swords.

Now, I find very little to say right now except that...Good luck. All of you. For your safety--especially next year--invest in sage, sea salt, and crystals. Believe in God. Believe in something.

And don't listen to the whispers.

//Mansion transmission

Monday, January 7, 2013

~~In My Whispers~~

Feel it yet?
The anger and the hate?
The shattered soul of one who can't forget
And one locked in a hellish state
A state of cold
A cell without trust
A place where the future is foretold
And I realize it's not good for those of the just
A battle begins, a shattered realm
A dreaming sleeper awakens
All lies all things, all light becomes dim
And everyone becomes one of the taken
Taken with destruction
Taken with the end
Utter fools, believing in the forsaken
When she doesn't view you as a friend
Please, abandon those who would abandon you
They never speak what you think
They wouldn't stop you from beginning to sink
If you were to drown in all the things untrue....

~~Alive!!!!!--Life Post~~

Meow, mew, NYANCAT, dog, cat, werewolf, taco, apple, oh look math homework....

Why is the word math always with a red squiggly line under it?


Seriously, spell check, seriously.

Does it want us to spend the time spelling MATHEMATICS every time?


It's a waste of time.

And time is something extremely important for students.

I've been home for around three hours and I've done all the homework but math.

And I'm also on around episode four of season one of Black Butler.





Good, Bunnies, good....

I'm doing pretty well, ya know?

My life is..levelling out somewhat, even though I am privy to a lot of hidden knowledge that tends to keep me awake at night and could get me killed if I explain it.

But luckily I am also defended by many and loved by many.

I'm safe, sweets.

And yeah, today was my very first day back at school since the 20th of December last year.

Everything went pretty well. My friends missed me--Patience and Mara were the only two out of my four friends who hadn't seen me over the break so you can bet I got hugged a lot when I went into the writing centre. :D

Yes. I am happy.

Oh yeah....

Did I even MENTION how it was the whole new year and everything? Did I make resolutions this year?

Heh, other than posting on this blog a lot more and doing better in school--aka not perishing to exams--I don't think I really made any...

However, I'm also doing pretty well on my own. I know the parts of me that I need to fix ((second guessing of relationships, never settling for second best, too high of an opinion of myself combined with basically an inferiority complex, and not a really good skill with relationship handling)) and I will do my best to fix them.

I know....I know I'm not the best person for a relationship but I'm going to try! I'm going to try my best to be the best I can for my Glowstone, and the best I can be for my friends....And many of my allies.

Be careful, readers and friends.

Be careful.

And....Salt and protection stones are now a continual thing I carry on my person. Believe you me, it's not a bad idea to invest in them.

That is all I shall say on the matter.

Now, for math homework....


I think I know which one Imma do...

See ya soon!!!


Friday, January 4, 2013

~~Story of the World~~

In all the worlds
In all the Realms
The stories are the same:
Love once
Love twice
And always love again

There's a plan behind every meeting
A story behind every tear
A rhyme to every song
And a reason to every life
The plan may be unknown
But, in the end, it cannot go wrong

Never weep, for you will not see
The brightness in front of you
Waiting for your hand
I know it hurts
Trust me I've seen
How it feels when no one understands

There's a plan though, okay?
And I don't know its goal
Nor do I understand who made it
But trust me when I say
That you will be okay
And enter a room, brightly lit

I know more than most
How much love can hurt
Cupid's arrows are more like a dart
A dart tipped with poison
But also with light
That can hopefully heal a shattered heart

I can't explain how I know
That all of us have a reason for life
Just a feeling I've got
A thought in the back of my mind
Stick around and you'll see
The truth of the world God seems to have forgot.....

Thursday, January 3, 2013

~~Destroy the Dream, Recapture Life: Meanderings Post~~

The longer I wander, feeling cursed by forces I can never comprehend, is the longer I spend numb.

I must move on past all the cold inside me....

Are there not so many amazing things that I should be happy for?

Such as....

Ice cream? Which I don't think is available for me to eat but its real and I love it.

Still being on holiday?

Gah, there's no food in the house.

I am not happy about that. I want food. There isn't even milk to drink...I love milk.

Well, I found a banana chocolate chip muffin. Does that count as food?

I hope it does! I like muffinses.

What is UP with me today?

Gah, welcome to the rapidly mood changing girl.

Who has a muffin.

An awesome muffin.


I love how this post was meant to be serious.

And all depressed and such.

You probably were expecting that, weren't you reader?

Well congrats.

You got muffin girl instead :D

Isn't that a nice change for this place? All..Random and odd, instead of sad. OOOOH! LOOK! Sebastian is hugging me....

When did my doll start being able to move?


Just kidding, nothing happened, he isn't moving and I'm just cuddling him. He's my awesome Sebby doll, don't know how long I've had him....

I love the band the Used.


My current fave song by them. =w=


I love tildes.

So squiggly.



Both an anime and a video game!

I have the video game.

Never seen the anime.


I'll watch it once I'm done with Elfin Lied. Yes I am watching Elfin Lied. I LOVE IT! Mew is so so so so so cute....And Lucy is just a pure mind fuck, god I love it. Such a change....

Imma stop talking about that before I give away too much.

I need to finish my muffin.

Do you want some of my muffin?

Well, too bad, because it is MY banana chocolate chip muffin!!!!!


Ian says I need to work on my evil laugh. Basically it's MUAHAHAHAHAHA said out loud in a sing songy tone...


I have an urge to show off myself...

Have a picture of me! <3

Me. In my Creeper hoodie. With my Sebby doll.


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

~~Enter the Mansion: Bios and Information of All Figments~~


Urgsal, King of the Demons: He's a bit of a bastard, but yet we have to deal with him. He has a disturbing love of mango and peanut butter chocolates...
Sybil: Adorable, gay, Figment of Anna's. He's always found in the mall at Atlantis.

Appeared Age: 15
Actual Age: Unknown ((No memory/records exist of her predating this life, yet there are legends of her living before the Mortal Realm came to be.))
Gender: Female
Race: Host—angelic in nature
Orientation: Bisexual
Status: Complicated, as per usual
Children: None
Household: Host of the Mansion
Skillsets: Adept at teleportation, user of angelic light, very good with a bow, can summon Silver Eyes (miniature dragonfly whose eyes will transmit information directly to her mind) for spying purposes, uses many of the same magic skills her family uses (telepathic communication, perfect control over angelic light, some flame control. Like Michael and Jace, her blood is special—it flows through her veins as diamond, giving her control over it as well). She tends to improvise a lot, adapting quickly where needed. More of an archer than front line fighter.
Birthday: March 31st, 1997
Preferred Weapons: Dual rapiers, like her father. Also likes bows and Needlers (from Halo games)
Quote: “Sometimes I wonder why I’m still around….Then I remember about pie.”
Overview: Known as the Joiner in the ancient Angelican legend, she is a fifteen girl (going on sixteen now) who plays Minecraft, deals with depression, has a tendency to overthink love, and kicks ass at anything her ego feels she kicks ass at. She’s known as an Angel by most of her friends—and seeing as her parents are Raphael and Alakina that’s not entirely surprising. She’s a smart kid, and as the Joiner she makes friends easily and has more than a faint tendency to stumble into the company of incredibly important people. She’s important, but how important is still being seen. Yes, yes she is writing this in the third person. Stepha says hi, by the way. And oh yeah she’s Canadian, and the Founder of all the Figment beliefs, most of which can be found and explained upon her two blogs ((found at and and she’s proudly bisexual. Drop her a line at for any questions or queries you may have.

Appeared Age: 21
Actual Age: Since the Victorian Era
Gender: Male
Race: Angelic Figment
Orientation: Straight, but not continuously so (he jokes, no one knows how far he goes with it)
Status: Married to Alakina
Children: Jace, Michael, and Alexandra
Household: The Mansion
Skillsets: Adept at archery and anything to do with angelic light. He is also a good healer
Preferred Weapons: Dual rapiers
Birthday: October 3rd
Quote: "Shimmering light, protection eternal--GAH! I can't be pithy, I need to edit my novel!"
Overview: Raphael stands six feet, two inches in height. He's naturally skinny, usually dressed very nicely and always in black. He has shoulder length ragged red and black hair. He has steel grey eyes, surrounded by black where there should be white, just like all of the denizens of the Mansion. He has a pair of studious glasses precariously perched on his nose. His wings are massive, with a full sixteen foot wingspan. They used to be pure black, but now they have become white. He is normally in his study "writing" ((usually snacking on coffee beans, going crazy, singing along to musicals quite badly, worrying about things, etc.)), editing, or just goofing off on Minecraft. When he's not there, he's found on the Mountaintop with his wife Alakina; dealing with the numerous issues of the Mansion; cooking incredible meals of all shapes and sizes; or practising his fighting skills. He favors dual rapiers, and his angelic light. He is also an incredibly adept healer. If he is at full power, he becomes a dragon crafted entirely of angelic light, with his mindless body held in the middle. Angelic light, by its very nature, is deadly to demons of all forms. It doesn't deal much damage to other people. He's the father figure here, and he somehow is the favourite member of my family--well, he would be, if it wasn't for Stepha. Everyone seems to love her.
Appeared Age: 22
Actual Age: Not long after humans first walked the earth
Gender: Female
Race: Angelic Figment
Orientation: Bisexual
Status: Married to Raphael
Children: Jace, Michael, and Alexandra
Household: The Mansion
Skillset: Healing, angelic light, ranged weapons of all forms
Birthday: January 21st
Preferred Weapon:  Staff and bow—which is equipped with unlimited supplies of arrows. Arrow types go from explosive arrows to poison arrows.
Quote: "Angels are idiots; they fly away too fast to get to know humans. They're amusing specimens if nothing else."
Quote: Alakina is my image of perfection. She is forever kind, and very motherly. She's five foot seven, well built, and extremely curvy. Large breasts and a large ass, with a small waist. She's perfect. She's intelligent, but she's also got a nasty tongue to her. Anger her, and she might also go further than tear you with her wit. She lost her children long long ago, and now whoever faces her and endangers her family will die. She uses a staff of wood, no enchantments on it but a pointed metal end. She's usually understimated because of her size and general appearance, but in fact she's more powerful than anyone else. She tends to use several elements at her control--she usually works with fire though, despite its risk and danger. She always is too fast to risk it all....If you would ever like to find her, I suggest looking on the Mountaintop. She's always there, flying with the wise old owl Brightclaw who inhabits the woods there. Yes, she's an angel as well--she has a fourteenfoot wing span, and they are the color of shining silver, a perfect contrast to her forever night black hair. She has lovely mocha-colored skin, and bright bright blue eyes on black. She is normally dressed ornately, in long flowing robes of every color. Despite that, she's continually on guard for any dangers.

Appeared Age: 17
Actual Age: He hasn't said
Gender: Male
Race: Demonic Figment
Orientation: Straight
Status: Single
Children: None he's admitted to
Household: The Mansion
Skillset: Extremely adept with all things you could possibly use fire for
Birthday: November 11th
Preferred Weapons: Chains and axes
Quote: "You don't know a thing about me because you never care to learn."
Overview: Michael is the newest member of the Mansion. He was brought here because we apparently needed someone to balance out our general goodness. He is my hatred and loneliness and pain. He does not get along with anyone. He stands six foot six, bringing him to the tallest of the bunch. He's extremely fit, a fact he flaunts at every opportunity. So he's usually not wearing a shirt, and in jeans or shorts. He's definitely handsome. He's very stuck up, and not much is known about him. He, unsurprisingly, has a thing for Stepha. Dana has a crush on him--which he uses as ammunition against her. He's demonic in nature,with a huge thing for fire. It flows through his bloodstream, making papercuts extremely fun....Not. When he isn't using fire, he's relying on various forms of magic Raphael--and yes, the rumors are true, Raphael is his father--has taught him. He can teleport naturally, and he's always quick to the punch--or an arrow through the knee/heart. He's good with a bow.

Appeared Age: 16
Actual Age: 38
Gender: Male
Race: Angelic
Orientation: Straight
Status: Married to Nikita
Children: A litter of kittens, all now deceased--RIP, brave kittens. You died saving your father.
Household: The Mansion
Skillset: Forgery, among other things
Birthday: August 13th
Preferred Weapon: Staff and steel
Quote: "Heh, why live if there's no books and killing things involved?"
Overview: Jace is the brat of the bunch. He loves a good party, but more than anyone else he adores reading. He's powered through books by R. Scott Bakker, and one of his favorites of all time is the Dynasts by Hardy. He reads very quickly, and so can be found usually in the library. If not, he's off in the training room with his father playing with steel, or his uncle Kakana in the forge making weaponry. Because of how steel seems to flow through his bloodstream, it can do whatever he wishes. He uses it in deadly attacks, such as spikes or cages made of liquid burning steel. He's done a million things--he usually improvises during fights, and doesn't like having his surprises taken away. Oh, he's also a good painter and artist. He stands to five eleven, and he has tousled impeccable brown bedhead. Apparently he spends hours cultivating that look...He's usually in jeans and a black hoodie of some form.

Appeared Age: 8
Actual Age: 79
Gender: Female
Race: Vampiric Figment
Orientation: Bisexual
Status: Taken by Host Robert
Children: Seven puppies
Household: The Mansion
Skillsets: Genetic engineering, poisons, various ninja abilities
Birthday: February 11th
Preferred Weapon: Her daggers and poisons
Quote: "Hi Sir, hi Miss! Care for a drink? And um.....Do you have a pony?"
Overview: This kid is NOT one who should be underestimated. She is quick-thinking, and more than anything else, quick to the punch. She feeds on demon blood—even though she says it tastes like sour cherries—and uses it to keep herself alive and moving. No, she doesn’t need a coffin—in fact she prefers her giant four-poster bed with the soft red sheets and oceans of stuffed animals. She’s a very spoiled young girl. Ah, about the demon blood? She also feeds on every form of blood. Human is, unsurprisingly, her favorite. She has even said that Robert’s tastes somehow sweeter than others…..So she drinks it a lot. A bit too much information there, eh? Well, she is also a whiz at genetic engineering, so she’s made things ranging from living chocolate ponies that you can eat, ride, and will never die and will continually regenerate to talking snow golems. She’s a very special girl. She’s hiding her smarts behind a mask of vulnerability—a very, very useful tactic.
Appeared Age: 25
Actual Age: 48
Gender: Male
Race: Wolf/human shape changer. Figment
Orientation: Straight
Status: Single
Children: Seven puppies
Household: Mansion
Skillsets: Traps and forms of torture, illusions
Birthday: March 11th
Preferred Weapons: Whips and swords
Quote: "Sometimes I wish I didn’t feel so hated.”
Overview: Raven these days is not entirely sure of his place. He’s become worried of being sent away and reassigned, due to how Stepha no longer wants him around. However, he’s still trying to help out around the place. Raphael and Raven have now overlooked their differences, and Raphael’s kindness and mercy and Raven’s brutality and sadistic tendencies balance out each other just enough to make the defences formidable, but not too painful a death. Raven’s also trying to work on his sympathy, and he is genuinely happy for Stepha and Robert, even though he wishes he had done better than he did with her.

Appeared Age: 15
Actual Age: 300
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Orientation: Bisexual
Status: Wife of Kakana
Children: None
Household: Mansion
Skillsets: Teleportation and she can turn things into butterflies. She’s also good at using said butterflies in both attack and defense
Birthday: January 19th
Preferred Weapon: Her own magic and a ton of different forms of guns.
Quote: "Sweetie, that's TNT. TNT is bad for you."
Overview: She's the puppy girl of the group, the one considered the least likely to doom the world. Dana is a shy young girl, loving and extremely nerdy. She fits in extremely well with the guys, usually found playing videogames. She can, and does, kick anyone's asses at all kinds of Halo, Modern Warfare, Blaz Blue....Her current addiction, however, is Minecraft. The easiest way to find her is to listen for the sounds of Mineract. She will not be far. She has long bright red hair, and she's almost always in a plain t-shirt, an oversized Creeper hoodie, and baggy jeans.

Appeared Age: 21
Actual Age: Since the Victorian Era
Gender: Male
Race: Angelic
Orientation: Straight
Status: Married to Dana
Children: None
Household: Mansion
Skillset: Technology expert, possesses little to no magical prowess
Birthday: October 3rd
Preferred Weapon: A sword and whatever robots/machines he feels like using
Quote: "Come on, try it! There's a ninety two..ninety one...okay fine sixty nine percent chance you won't get your head chopped up like a potato!"
Overview: Kakana is the twin brother of Raphael. He's intelligent, violent, and altogether insane. Mad scientist, tech genius...If it can be programmed, can blow up itself, blow up others, or start dancing the Hokey-Pokey he can build it. His workshop is filled with chemicals, radioactive stuff, and a lot of things we still don't know where he's getting them from. Sometimes it's better not to ask, and even better not to volunteer for experiments. Even though he's gotten better at not destroying his workshop, he still has an occasional accident. He's dressed in slacks and engineer boots, a nice leather belt, and whatever button down shirt he can find from the laundry hamper that morning. Just look for him in the workshop, or out in the training grounds testing out his new fighting robots and tame Creepers. Yes. We tamed them. Now they only blow up if you hug them!

Appeared Age: 17
Actual Age: 34
Gender: Female
Race: Cat-girl shape shifter
Orientation: Bisexual
Status: Married to Jace
Children: A litter of kittens, all now deceased--RIP, brave kittens. You died saving your father.
Household: Mansion
Skillset: Some magical prowess, shapeshifting, can set herself on fire and run at supersonic speeds
Birthday: March 23rd
Preferred Weapon: Her claws or a dagger
Quote: "Mew? MEW? Feed me, minion.....Or, you know, just pass me a manga. We're good."
Overview: Nikita is a rainbow furred cat. She is the absolute cutest girl ever, with a long puffy rainbow tail, rainbow cat ears, and bright--you guessed it--rainbow hair that hangs down to a very very shapely ass. Which she likes to flaunt. Do we mind? Not usually. Yes, she is an anime lover, and for someone so small and cute--she's bone thin, covered in fur, and is always naked because she's covered in fur--she eats a lot. And she eats a lot of junk food. She actually prefers chips to Raphael's unbelievably good cooking. And yes, she can transform into a small rainbow kitten. Problem?