Tuesday, May 14, 2013

~~Don't You Dare~~

Don't you dare feel that I don't love you
Because, even though right now I'm cold
And oh so old
I do truly love you, somewhere
Somewhere in my heart

Somewhere in my heart, there's
A shot of real gold
Somewhere that's still real
After everything I've suffered for
There's my reward

There's the part of me that loves you
That can let you in
The part that screams and howls
And will one day win
Win over the part that forces me away

The secret shame and all the fear
The demons that won't go
My darker side, my lonely side
The part I know you know
The part I know you accept

One day, that part will be gone
I'll be made real in your arms
But, until then, the gold
Will be torn in two
And I will be afraid

I will be so afraid
Of making you hurt, making a mistake
Making you go away--you know that
Don't you? You feel it
Don't you, my love?

Even though I know it's foolish
I'm still so scared
Even though I know it's wrong
I am still so scared
I can't even think of losing you

But I just wish I could feel the love more
On these days when I die inside
And I can't find my way home
When there is no going back
There is no going back.....

Well, I suppose I must answer
I must decide upon my definition of love
What is it to me? What do I care about?
Is love what I feel for you?
Smiling like an idiot or laughing like a fool

Wearing a ring every day to remember
That I'm not alone
Whispering your name
Crying out your name
Remembering your name

Dreaming of you
Is that love? If so, then why
Can't it over take me every moment?
Why can't it tear away my sadness?
Why am I still so cold?

If that's love, then why
Isn't it all encompassing?
Isn't it supposed to be that way?
What's wrong with me?
Is anything wrong with me?

I don't know, but I guess
That this is alright, I can survive
I can love you until the day I die
But only if that's what matters to me....
I love you baby.....

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I love you, random stranger. Thanks for dropping by, and for dropping a line. --Half Mad Writer