~~Don't You Dare~~

Don't you dare feel that I don't love you

Because, even though right now I'm cold

And oh so old

I do truly love you, somewhere

Somewhere in my heart

Somewhere in my heart, there's

A shot of real gold

Somewhere that's still real

After everything I've suffered for

There's my reward

There's the part of me that loves you

That can let you in

The part that screams and howls

And will one day win

Win over the part that forces me away

The secret shame and all the fear

The demons that won't go

My darker side, my lonely side

The part I know you know

The part I know you accept

One day, that part will be gone

I'll be made real in your arms

But, until then, the gold

Will be torn in two

And I will be afraid

I will be so afraid

Of making you hurt, making a mistake

Making you go away--you know that

Don't you? You feel it

Don't you, my love?

Even though I know it's foolish

I'm still so scared

Even though I know it's wrong

I am still so scared

I can't even think of losing you

But I just wish I could feel the love more

On these days when I die inside

And I can't find my way home

When there is no going back

There is no going back.....

Well, I suppose I must answer

I must decide upon my definition of love

What is it to me? What do I care about?

Is love what I feel for you?

Smiling like an idiot or laughing like a fool

Wearing a ring every day to remember

That I'm not alone

Whispering your name

Crying out your name

Remembering your name

Dreaming of you

Is that love? If so, then why

Can't it over take me every moment?

Why can't it tear away my sadness?

Why am I still so cold?

If that's love, then why

Isn't it all encompassing?

Isn't it supposed to be that way?

What's wrong with me?

Is anything wrong with me?

I don't know, but I guess

That this is alright, I can survive

I can love you until the day I die

But only if that's what matters to me....

I love you baby.....