~~My French Oral Exam is Tomorrow: Life Post~~

~~Tomorrow is My French Oral Exam: Life Post~~

Greetings, my dear sweet loves. Greetings, my addictions and my friends. Greetings to all of you on this cold and lovely winter’s night.

Tis I, Angel, at long last deciding to once again grace you with her company. Yes, I am intending the poeticness of this writing. I am listening to Proud of You by the band 10 Years, and Raphael’s sitting on the lab bench to my left smiling. I can’t see him clearly but I know he’s there. I know he’s there with me.

I know Ian’s here as well. Somewhere, somehow, I sense his skinny ass in my company. Gah I wanna talk to him….I love talking to him. I don’t know what I’d do without him now….My Soul-Bonded. Created to be together. Meant to be together. How I curse his family and the gods for making him be born in Ohio, far too far from me.

According to google maps, 1,143 km away….

Now I am delightfully seated in history class. My stomach hurts and so do does my left thumb, as per usual. I’m quite a little disaster, am I not?

Ah well. Now I’m cold and I can’t wrap my sweater around my shoulders for…various reasons.

None of your business, dearest followers.

I’m feeling sick now….I don’t feel very well but I’ll be okay right? I’ll be fine. As per usual.

Raphael’s still wandering the Mortal Realm. He’s currently following me. I think he’s just watching me and laughing—he knows how much I hate this.

God, I can’t bring myself to study for history….I’m way too tired and my stomach is aching. It feels awful.

And now I'm in bed, feeling sick like I'm going to puke. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I can't...find the courage to do anything.

Not right now, not any more.

I'm weak but....Who isn't?

My heart feels hollow....I feel like I should be able to move past it now.

I should be able to...

Right?

After all, I'm used to it...So very used to it.

Used to all the pain.

To all the difficulties....

But right now, as life and love again war, where do I stand?

I feel that, if I choose life, I'll be allowed to get what I desire but not the kind of people I want.

If I choose love, I won't get what I desire but I'll have friends.

Can I balance it?

I hope so....