tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746369845754422712024-03-05T00:21:47.741-05:00~~On the Wrong Page~~The blog of an author, poet, and Minecraft player with multiple personalities--and all the stress high school can dish out. Nikai tibitomaka!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.comBlogger464125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-19100801490216551512014-12-31T16:16:00.000-05:002014-12-31T16:16:35.881-05:00Surprise! Guess Who!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Thought I left all of you, did you?<br />
<br />
Well, I wanted to drop in on you.<br />
<br />
I wanted to say:<br />
<br />
Hi.<br />
<br />
I've been very happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. I'm in--finally--a much more stable relationship. My old guy, Shawn? Remember him?<br />
<br />
THAT JERK LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER GIRL.<br />
<br />
AFTER TOTALLY RUINING MY SELF-ESTEEM.<br />
<br />
AND MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A WHORE.<br />
<br />
-cough-<br />
<br />
Okay, uh, yeah.<br />
<br />
Well.<br />
<br />
Sorry, I'm still a little touchy on that subject.<br />
<br />
Anybutts, I am doing insanely well. I am--of course--dating again. At least, unofficially dating. He is wary of long distance, which I do understand--and, after Shawn, I am wary of dating in general--so he and I are taking things as they come. We've known each other for years, and I couldn't be happier.<br />
<br />
He and I have a lot of shared interests, spend a huge amount of time together....He's everything I could ask for in a human, and the best part is?<br />
<br />
In all the time we've known each other, he has never done a single thing but make me feel happy, loved, and supported.<br />
<br />
I can't get over how much I love him.<br />
<br />
How much I need him.<br />
<br />
I'm addicted to him....<br />
<br />
He and I do plan on being life partners. We're polyamorous (which does make the whole long distance thing easier, at least in my opinion) but we've agreed he and I are a package deal. No matter what happens, no matter where we go in life, no matter who else we meet--he and I are a package deal, and we remain a package deal of happy fun times. Also, if there is marriage in the future of either of us, it's to each other.<br />
<br />
Yeah, that's what I love about him--through good times and bad, through me dating others and me running to him, he's been right there by my side. V, my wonderful rock--and, potentially, the ONE GUY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG.<br />
<br />
Heh.<br />
<br />
I can't believe it took me so long to really just...give in and love him. Realize that, even with how well I connected with Ian--and how well I seemingly connected with Shawn--V was always the one who I felt safest with.<br />
<br />
V never made me feel anything but happy....<br />
<br />
Okay, this is getting sappy.<br />
<br />
I've lost thirty pounds. I've made good, and bad, choices. <a href="http://annashadowlight.wix.com/thehalfmadwriter">I have a new website,</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/theagencyforunwantedchildren">and a Facebook page</a>. I'm happy with my life. I mean...I'm really happy with my life.<br />
<br />
I'm doing well.<br />
<br />
It's going to be a happy New Year....<br />
<br />
With love and joy,<br />
<br />
The Half-Mad Writer A. H. Wong</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-6947568225897911772014-07-09T16:01:00.002-04:002014-07-09T16:01:45.159-04:00~~Surprise!!!--Life/Meta Post~~<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
These will not be the final words you ever hear from me, readers new and old. I love you, and I said I would never go.<br />
<br />
So, I'm back again to haunt you with poetry and prose.<br />
<br />
Go to <a href="http://halfmadwriter.wordpress.com/">my new website.</a><br />
<br />
You will find me there.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry I was gone so long, my loves.<br />
<br />
I was in mourning for this place, and couldn't bear to write.<br />
<br />
But I'm back now, and over the course of the next few days, all novels found here will be posted onto my new Wordpress blog.<br />
<br />
With love and kindness,<br />
<br />
Half-Mad Writer</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-65978658313416913922014-04-28T08:48:00.001-04:002014-04-28T08:48:19.528-04:00~~This Blog has been Discontinued--Announcement and Goodbye Post~~<div dir='ltr'>Due to the seemingly endless influx of spam, this blog will be closed. I have tried multiple times to cease this spam. If anyone has any following ideas, please do reach me at annashadowlight@hotmail.ca or leave a comment below.<div><br></div><div>Please disregard all following posts.</div><div><br></div><div>Except for the one that tells you the URL of my newest blog.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm so very sorry...</div><div><br></div><div>Have a final poem from me.</div><div><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We had a good time.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm finding it hard to rhyme,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>With these tears in my eyes.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They made my promises lies.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I said I would never go,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That you would always know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My every thought and sigh.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But now that time has come to die.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We had a good time, and I'll miss you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>When I had no one else, I had relied on you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I took strength in your reading,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>While you listened to my screaming.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You kept me so very safe,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And I never thought the bonds would chafe.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Now I've been released,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And I hate being freed.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wish I could return</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To a time I had come to learn</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Was the best time of my life.....</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It had saved my life.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Never forget me, or let me go.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't stop loving the girl you'd come to know.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Follow me wherever I may lead;</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Listen to me forever, I plead!</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't let this be goodbye.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't make your silent words a lie.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Follow me as I try to rhyme,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>There is always going to be time.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>This is the time to say goodbye.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I promise I won't fly</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Away from you for long.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You'll never escape my song.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I love you all, in truth.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The path for me will never smooth,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I don't mind--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'll never leave you all behind.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-88907285721887609272014-04-25T13:57:00.001-04:002014-04-25T13:57:06.519-04:00~~Cheater~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Liar, whore, slut, skank--</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Bound by laws,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Not by honor.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is it wrong</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To scream 'rape'</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>When it is wanted?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I try to pretend</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That this</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>ISN'T</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My fault.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I invite</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The hands</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The cruelty</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The loneliness.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I invite it all,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But lie and say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I don't.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Am I wrong,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Or am I right</i>?</div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-58627477586262148722014-04-25T10:23:00.001-04:002014-04-25T10:23:43.896-04:00~~Another World~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I dream of a shining world.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where happiness and love</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Come in waves.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I dream of another world,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>A place where I'm at peace.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I dream of a world</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where I am safe,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I don't know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>If such a world</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Exists.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there a place</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where I am happy and</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Beautiful?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there another world?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there the world</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of my dreams--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of magic and light,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of wrong and of right,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of battle, and of peace?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there the world of my dreams?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there a place</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>For me?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there a place</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where I am one of many?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where my sins</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Are known,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And forgiven?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there a place</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where I am whole?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there a place</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where you are with me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Forever?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there a place</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where I can finally</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Fall asleep</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In your arms?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there another world?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is there a better world?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I want you to stay</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In my world.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I want you to stay</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>With me</i>.</div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-63687015046748060612014-04-25T09:12:00.001-04:002014-04-25T09:12:25.638-04:00~~Help Me Not~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I'm happy here.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm happy</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In my darkness.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm happy</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In my light.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm happy</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>On the rollercoaster,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Tumbling from</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Highs of</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Perfect apparent sanity,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And lows of</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Dark demise.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm happy tumbling</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>From high cliffs,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Unable to recall</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Just how to fly</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Until the very last instant</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Before the spikes</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Pierce my heart.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I am happy here.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know you don't think so.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know you believe</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'd be better off</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>If I accepted</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Your assistance.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know I need therapy.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know I need to lose</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Myself in pain</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And drown myself</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In pleasure.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know I need to</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Close myself off</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>More, or is it less?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is it better</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To be open</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And let the light in,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Or closed</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And keep the night out?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Teach me--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is it better</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To be me,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Or to be</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You?</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-28606884861208045002014-04-25T09:07:00.001-04:002014-04-25T09:07:21.566-04:00~~Inside My Eyes~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I gaze out</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>At the world.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I register little--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Seeming to not see</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The teachers</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The classmates</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The stars.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I seem not to see,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I do see--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Inside my eyes</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Lies</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>A world of joy</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And hatred.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Tied up and torn,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>A prisoner</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To my memories--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Would I live my life</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Another way</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Than this?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Would I choose</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Anything different</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>From this?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I chose my sins.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I chose my lies.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I chose my comforts.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I chose my victories.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I chose to suffer,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>While you--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>'Noble' watcher--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Chose to grow.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know I won't</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Win the race.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know I won't</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Get as far</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>As you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Simply because</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I choose not to.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why race forward</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>When the entire world</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is a hotbed</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of danger and death?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why not calmly</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Walk along,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Knowing that</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>There is no escape</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>From the darkness behind--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Just like</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>There is no escape</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>From the darkness</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Inside.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Inside my eyes,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I form a smile</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And laugh as you wonder</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why I prefer</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To be alone.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-83854552727715731812014-04-25T09:02:00.001-04:002014-04-25T09:02:12.495-04:00~~On the Wrong Page: A Free Verse Story~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Ever so slightly...off.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You can't tell what's wrong,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Now can you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You swallow, wondering why</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My eyes sparkle and shine.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is that a laugh</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That can be called sane?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is that something</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You can measure?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Biting your lip,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You face me and wonder</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why I am so quiet.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I need a friend?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I notice there's a world</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Surrounding me?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is the distant gaze</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I possess</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Registering you,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Or a different place,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Different face?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Do you feel my gaze</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Flicking over you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Taking all of you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In, before</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Deciding</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Not to bother?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You wince a little</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>At my coldness.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You see me smirk,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>See me smile--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>A hidden girl,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Celebrating</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Her hidden world.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I am on the wrong page,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And you are watching</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Me write the story</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of my life.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You are on the wrong page,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Wondering why</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm smiling.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-87209698348205194692014-04-25T08:53:00.001-04:002014-04-25T08:53:08.886-04:00~~The Stories of a Girl~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I am a writer, and I am fine.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I am mad, but you are mine.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You are the one I dance for.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You are the one I trust.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You listen to my stories,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And help my mind adjust.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I am growing,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My heart is shining,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And you've saved me from the dark.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Black on white--my world was so stark.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You've changed my mind,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And changed my soul--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is it wrong to thank you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>For making me whole?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You listen to my stories,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And tell me I'm amazing.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You tell me a thousand times</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That I am all yours, and you are mine.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You tell me I'm lovely,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And listen with joy.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You turn to me and listen</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To my words.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You are proud of me,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And I know I'm proud of you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I feel good when I'm with you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You make me happy,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You make me good---</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wish I could show you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>What I couldn't do for anyone else.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wish I could show you I love you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wish I could find the words,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I can't find out how to be kind.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The words tumble from my tongue,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Far too cruel and cold--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You love me still, even though I know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You shouldn't love.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You listen to my stories,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And put up with my tears.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You soothe me and you tease me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>For all my irrational fears.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You prove to me it's alright,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And help me through the night.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I absolutely love you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You make me smile.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You listen to my stories,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But you don't know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You're the only reason</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm telling them.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You don't know you are</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My inspiration.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My fascination,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My temptation--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You are my love.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I listen to your stories,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And I hope you know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That I love you with every</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Little</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Beat of my heart.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-51336907277033595092014-04-25T08:46:00.001-04:002014-04-25T08:46:53.707-04:00~~Internalized and Scanned--Life Post~~<div dir='ltr'>As I write these words, I am doing a full-scale complete scan of my laptop. HOPEFULLY, that will stuck these annoying posts from popping up on my beautiful, virginal blog!<div><br></div><div>Naturally, THIS MEANS I'LL NEED TO CHANGE EVERY PASSWORD.</div><div><br></div><div>These include....</div><div><br></div><div>Hotmail.</div><div><br></div><div>Google.</div><div><br></div><div>Reddit.</div><div><br></div><div>Chatango.</div><div><br></div><div>Blogger.</div><div><br></div><div>YouTube.</div><div><br></div><div>EVERY PASSWORD SHALL BE CHANGED, AS I AM THE HALF-MAD WRITER AND <b>NO ONE </b>TOUCHES MY BLOG!</div><div><br></div><div>Teehee.</div><div><br></div><div>Is that clear?</div><div><br></div><div>I hope so.</div><div><br></div><div>Anywho, I have...updates on my mind and Figments.</div><div><br></div><div>Stepha and Cassandra have left my mind. One by one, all of them are disappearing--the contracts that kept them bound to me, and kept them helping me, became null and void when it became clear I was becoming saner. They are gone now.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm losing Nikita tomorrow.</div><div><br></div><div>Raphael will be the last to go, and he will leave in a month.</div><div><br></div><div>No, two weeks.</div><div><br></div><div>I....</div><div><br></div><div>I'm ready for this. I'm ready to stop hearing voices, to finally become JUST ME again. I haven't been 'sane' (in the traditional sense) in my living memory. I don't remember a time before them, but soon, all I will know is a time <i>after </i>them. It will be hard to adjust.</div><div><br></div><div>After they go, will I be better?</div><div><br></div><div>Possibly.</div><div><br></div><div>Why are they going?</div><div><br></div><div>They're leaving because of Shawn. My life has found <i>stability. </i>I have found happiness. Of course there's frustrations, moments that are hard, and parts of life that cause pain and disappointment. But there's a lot of happiness, too. Of watching AN ENTIRE ANIME in one night (Madoka Magica, all twelve episodes marathon-style). There's good parts and there's finally the ability to love.</div><div><br></div><div>Yes, I'm....I'm able to say "I love you" again and mean it completely.</div><div><br></div><div>It took me such a long time to say it, but now I finally freaking mean it. I finally feel love again!</div><div><br></div><div>Am I better now, because of this? I guess I am. I guess I am finally making huge breakthroughs.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm amazing.</div><div><br></div><div>With love eternal,</div><div><br></div><div>Half-Mad Writer</div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-53765648452450759962014-04-25T08:34:00.001-04:002014-04-25T08:34:35.613-04:00~~How Did This Happen?~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Here I go again.</i></span></div><style><!-- .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 12pt; font-family:Calibri } --></style><div dir="ltr"></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><i>Asking questions that</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Go unanswered, of you, my friend.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Here I go again.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm wondering why</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>When I know the reason:</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It doesn't take much to make me cry.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm wondering why.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>How did this happen?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I thought I was stronger,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That my heart was on the mend.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>How did this happen?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Did I become twisted?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Tied up and drowned,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Lost in my art and all I hid?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Did I become twisted?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I made mistakes.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Would I undo them</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>If that was a choice I could take?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I made mistakes.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I got hurt and I cried.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I fell in love again and again,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Found many that lied.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I got hurt and I cried.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I grew up, and got bitter.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I pretended it was okay,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>As my cold heart doth shiver.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I grew up, and got bitter.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I fell in love, and I tried.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>God knows I did my best</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To show what was inside.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I fell in love, and I tried.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You held me close and saved me.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I lied and cheated,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And pushed you away from me.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You held me close, and saved me.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>How did this happen?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I never thought I deserved</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To be loved again.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>How did this happen?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You saved my life.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You made it worth fighting,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And pushed away my inner strife.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You saved my life.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I owe you everything.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I hope that you understand</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>All the hidden meaning.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I owe you everything.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-52102101216381991422014-04-25T08:28:00.001-04:002014-04-25T08:28:32.474-04:00~~Belief?~~<div dir='ltr'> <style><!-- .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 12pt; font-family:Calibri } --></style> <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>What do I believe in?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I believe</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>In some higher power,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Watching over me?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I believe</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>In someone judging me</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>As I dance for them?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Tossing challenges</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>In my face,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Teaching me</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>To cry,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Scream,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>And fight--</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I believe</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Someone wants to hurt me,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Or help me?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I believe in anything?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Asking questions,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Unable to think--</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I believe someone</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Can hear my voice?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>I don't know what I believe.</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>If someone was there,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Watching over me,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Did they let me get hurt?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Or did they try</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>To stop me?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Did they comfort me,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Or hurl me</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Into battle?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I have a belief</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>In anything?</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I believe in anything</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>But myself,</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>And the foolishness</i></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;"><i>Of mankind?</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-19825756084270765792014-04-24T14:25:00.001-04:002014-04-24T14:25:38.672-04:00~~Candy-Sweet Faces Rewrite!--Life Post~~<div dir='ltr'>Goodmorning, everyone! As you can see, my long-standing project of Candy Sweet Faces is continuing. I'll write the blurb down below, if I have the chance.<div><br></div><div>Wait, it seems that I'm STILL being hacked. Please disregard any posts that are clearly not made by my lovely self, as I'm not quite certain how they are still posting. I've changed my password THRICE on every account connected to Blogger--email, blogger, and Google. I'm not certain what else can be done.</div><div><br></div><div>Besides that, I really am focused on finishing Candy-Sweet Faces. When I get the chance, I'm going to write a set of timelines to keep important dates for the plot (as well as the main character's private lives) in order.</div><div><br></div><div>Yes, this novel/novels will require timelines.</div><div><br></div><div>Because they're going to be that complicated.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm not entirely sure just what will happen. I know there will be multiple character deaths, and a major expansion in the CSF universe.</div><div><br></div><div>SPOILER: Patients, policemen, a very specific reporter, and a travelling circus will mean a massive amount in the CSF stories.</div><div><br></div><div>I also might change the title of CSF. I like Candy-Sweet Faces, but I might also go for things like BLACK ROSE SOCIETY, THE SOCIETY OF BROKEN GIRLS, TO KILL A LOVER, BLACK LOLITAS, LOLITA UNDONE....</div><div><br></div><div>Forgotten Toffee, maybe!</div><div><br></div><div>It kinda depends on where this story ends. I'm not exactly sure where it will end, really....</div><div><br></div><div>I'm running through dozens of possible titles. I LOVE Candy-Sweet Faces, but I don't know how well it fits. I'm currently going through a list of about twenty possibilities with my friend Gary.</div><div><br></div><div>I need to run through a lot more titles....</div><div><br></div><div>So, yes, I will be rewriting this.</div><div><br></div><div>It WILL end up a trilogy.</div><div><br></div><div>I like the name Black Rose Hall.</div><div><br></div><div>Or maybe Damaged Goods.</div><div><br></div><div>Or Dying Embers. Which ends up becoming Spark in the Dark, and then Fire in the Night.</div><div><br></div><div>Or maybe False Angels.</div><div><br></div><div>I don't know....</div><div><br></div><div>We'll see!</div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-48521396946936350672014-04-23T09:33:00.001-04:002014-04-23T09:33:13.056-04:00~~Adoration~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Adoration, contemplation--</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>What does it mean to love?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know my heart races,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know i feel amazed--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>What does it mean to love?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm in heaven when you kiss me,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I'm in hell when you're away.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It hurts, my heart aches--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I run a thousand miles</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Just to see you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I destroy the world,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Just to see you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm drowned in love and sensation--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Worship is in my heart.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'll do anything you ask.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Just tell me you love me.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Just tell me you love me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>As much as I believe</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I love you....</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I can't decide</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>If it's love, or if I should hide.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I don't know what</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm doing right--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Am I doing something wrong?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Am I breaking you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Am I hurting you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Am I cold,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Or am I kind?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I don't know what's wrong,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I don't know what's right--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is it good that I don't believe</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I can live without you anymore?</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-39150022211569866472014-04-23T09:17:00.001-04:002014-04-23T09:17:26.869-04:00~~I Blame You~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>You hurled me into war.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Too young to breathe,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Too young to scream--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You pitched me off a cliff,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And told me to fly.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I fell into the arms</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of enemies posing as friends--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Was it my fault I wound up hurt?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for not teaching me.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for not helping me.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for not seeing</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I was too young to fly.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for my tears.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for my bitterness.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for my cold.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for my anger.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for my weakness.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know it's my fault.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know I could have flown.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I know I could have freaking SOARED--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I blame you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for not knowing</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I didn't want to fly.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>For not knowing</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wanted to cry.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>For not realizing</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I didn't want to win the war.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Making me feel like I was alone.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for abandoning me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To the enemies I should have fought.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you for my scars,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Even though I held the knife.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I blame you.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-50179565433477682542014-04-23T09:11:00.001-04:002014-04-23T09:11:03.338-04:00~~Destroy the Broken Ones~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>We are the bitter,</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We are the alone.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We are the ones</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Standing side by side--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let the first one to cry<br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Be the first damned.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let the first one to scream</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And regret</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Be the first one dead.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let the first one to breathe</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Be the first one gone.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We are the broken ones,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>So let's see us burn.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Take our hands</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And lead us astray.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Lead us to the path</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of thorns,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And leave us there alone.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let us destroy ourselves.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-65826136508108320272014-04-23T08:53:00.001-04:002014-04-23T08:53:11.670-04:00~~I Am Undone~~<div dir='ltr'> <style><!-- .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 12pt; font-family:Calibri } --></style> <div dir="ltr"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I am a broken</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Little ball of fluff and desire.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I am a lonely</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Little child--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>So why do you care?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do you pull me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Close to you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Comfort me,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>When everything else</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Goes wrong?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do you tell me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It's all going</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To be okay?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm a bitch,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm a whore,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm useless,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm cold,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm dead--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm no one, so</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do you treat me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Like I'm perfect?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do your words say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That I'm absolutely perfect?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why does your voice</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Soften</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>When you meet my gaze?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do you grin</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And laugh</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Whenever I curl up</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Close to you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do you let me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Cling to you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I am undone.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do you love me?</i></div></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-63412328623480868732014-04-23T08:50:00.001-04:002014-04-23T08:50:02.657-04:00~~Not Only....~~<div dir='ltr'> <style><!-- .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 12pt; font-family:Calibri } --></style> <div dir="ltr"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Not only me, not only you.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>There's more</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Than we could ever know.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You're watching</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>From behind the shadow,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Waiting for the sunlight--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't you know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It will shine</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>On more than you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't you know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It will reveal the world?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We aren't the only ones</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Here in love.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We're not alone.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We aren't alone in love.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Surrounded by others,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We embrace</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And keep each other close.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We feel whole,</i></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>We feel broken--</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>We dream</i></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of forever,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>While waiting</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>For the past</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To repeat.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We don't know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Where we're going--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We only know</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We don't like where</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We've been.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>We can't guess</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>At tomorrow--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>All we can do</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is fight for today.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You are my lover,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be your bride.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be your whole world.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be yours--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And I swear</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I will</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Love you.</i></div></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-59493556760882197152014-04-23T08:42:00.001-04:002014-04-23T08:42:21.569-04:00~~Halfway Broken~~<div dir='ltr'> <style><!-- .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 12pt; font-family:Calibri } --></style> <div dir="ltr"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I think I'm sliding out.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My mind is losing it.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I can't make sense</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Of who I used to be--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But there's something</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Wrong with me.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I remember the sadist,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I remember the cruel</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And the cold--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Is that who I am?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I thought I'd</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Changed.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I thought I'd</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Stopped this....</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Wasn't I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Better?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Wasn't I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Better than this?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I don't want</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To tear them in two...</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>So why am I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>So tempted</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To make them scream?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Want to hear them cry?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why do I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Want to end their lives?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm halfway broken,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I thought I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Was so close to whole....</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I thought I</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Was better.</i></div></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-37628063311298456112014-04-23T08:40:00.001-04:002014-04-23T08:40:33.438-04:00~~"Hostile Heights" by Raphael~~<div dir='ltr'> <style><!-- .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 12pt; font-family:Calibri } --></style> <div dir="ltr"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>The heavenly skies tower over all of humankind. </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The heavenly skies watch over you--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Can you feel their dark eyes</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Shimmering as they pass over you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Hands on their swords,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Their black wings spread wide--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Can you sense them watching you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Watching you lie and cheat,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Watching you run red lights,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Watching you kill and screw--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't you know they're watching you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You can't escape their measure.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You can't escape their eyes.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Measure is unceasing,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And it's all of you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They watch you,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They know you--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They know what you say,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They know what you do.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Hands on their swords,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They are watching you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Sparring each other,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Preparing for war--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Can you feel them</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Watching over you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Can you feel them smiling?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Can you feel them laughing?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Displeasure and pride,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Measure and rewards--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Can you feel them shaking their heads</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>As they're watching you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>They know everything you do:</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Can you feel them smile?</i></div></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-13102977704293661582014-04-23T08:15:00.001-04:002014-04-23T08:15:43.154-04:00~~Momentary Depression~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>It hurts now,</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But you're thinking</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It's just fine--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Didn't you believe</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Me when I told you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Everything would hurt?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You're losing it,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Pretending</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It's just fine,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But you're realizing</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>At the same time</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That you've lost it all.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You call it your own,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But you're so wrong--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You're playing my game,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Unable to dance.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I won't make you scream,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I won't please you--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'll silence you,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And end your dreams.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm not sorry.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm just caught</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>In momentary depression--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Anything I can do</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To ease the pain</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Will be done.....</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-36202331218241764212014-04-17T11:42:00.001-04:002014-04-17T11:42:34.573-04:00~~Happy Dead Bunny Time~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Whee! I'm losing my mind,</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm losing control.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It feels so good</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To admit I'm not whole.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wanted so bad</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To make myself hurt,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That now that I'm bleeding:</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I can tear it all apart.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Completely supportive,</i></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Completely whole--</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I'm so glad I changed</i></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And made myself worse.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Drowned in sadism</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And in sin,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>It's so nice to feel</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Like I'm dying</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To be here.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm dying to be here,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To feel like I can</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Destroy you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I want to destroy you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You think I'm sweet,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You think I'm good--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You think I'm noble,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I'll hurt you worse</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Than anyone else</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Ever could!</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'll be your slut,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'll be your skank--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'll be your sinner,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Even though you'll always say:</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm your Angel.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm your angel?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wish you could see,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That I'm just a dead girl</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Inside....</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I wish you could see</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>That I died and came back</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>A hollower version of me.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>(And no, I'm</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Not sorry....)</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm not sorry I'll</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Break you in two.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm not sorry</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'll lie to you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm not sorry,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Not sorry at all....</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Now let yourself</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Burn inside.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let yourself</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Burn inside....</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let yourself.....</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Go.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-50457432268370668002014-04-17T11:30:00.001-04:002014-04-17T11:30:44.580-04:00~~Sweeter Sins~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I can be your whore.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I can be your broken girl--</i></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Let me be your dreamer.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>Let me be your whore.</i></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I want nothing more</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Than to please you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I want to hate you,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I want to love you.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be your whore.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be your broken skank,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Your bundle of lies</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And oh-so-fake.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You know you want me,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You know you need me--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>So let me be your hatred,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be your sin.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I swear to you I'll be kind.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I won't leave you</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>And push you all behind.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be your darkness.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be your darkness.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I'll drop to my knees,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Do as I please.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Let me be your whore.</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-10606326022757108532014-04-17T09:18:00.001-04:002014-04-17T09:18:19.171-04:00~~What's Been Going On?--Life Post~~<div dir='ltr'>Okay.<div><br></div><div>My darling readers, April has not been my month for posting. It really hasn't. Most of you are probably wondering just what aspect of my life has tugged me away from you this time, but I'm afraid I can't really answer that. Well, a good guess would probably be to blame webcomics.</div><div><br></div><div>Blame the webcomics EVERY EFFING TIME.</div><div><br></div><div>They're destroying my ability to focus on anything and everything. So very, very tempting to just click...and read...and read...and read...</div><div><br></div><div>And then there's the mangas....</div><div><br></div><div>I really read too many mangas.</div><div><br></div><div>Currently, I'm praying that the manga Kamisama No Iu Toori gets an English release. It's a wonderful Horror Survival Manga, and it's downright horrible. Think Battle Royale mixed with challenges in the line of Saw, and you'll get what I mean. It has the same horrible despair and meaninglessness that one might get at three am, when there's no one awake in the entire effing world but them....</div><div><br></div><div>*Coughs*</div><div><br></div><div>Okay, so I'd look that one up, if I was you. It's an incredible manga.</div><div><br></div><div>AND....</div><div><br></div><div>It's due to get a live-action movie.</div><div><br></div><div>Oh god.</div><div><br></div><div>I can't wait to see it, but at the same time, I want to cry so very much. It will be one of the most brutal movies I've ever watched....If it WASN'T live action, I'd be perfectly fine. But, because it is.....I don't have a hope. I've seen brutal, horrible things in anime and manga form....</div><div><br></div><div>But not in live.</div><div><br></div><div>I couldn't even get through until the actual medical procedures in Human Centipede. Hell, I dropped out at the slideshow where he was describing what he was going to do. (I still want to finish that movie, actually. I just need to get the time alone to do it. I also want to watch A Serbian Film, which is widely regarded as the most disturbing movie of ALL EFFING TIME.)</div><div><br></div><div>I wish I was still getting counselling. I think I'll need it after these movies.</div><div><br></div><div>And I still can't believe I haven't seen *any* of the Saw horror franchise. I ought to--they're so iconic that they're almost a requirement for connoisseurs of Guro. (AKA gore porn.)</div><div><br></div><div>Okay, so other than this, I've been alright. I made a slightly disturbing discovery, though--my lovely boyfriend Shawn looks <i>almost exactly </i>like my very first boyfriend Ted. Well, *I* didn't do that intentionally. When Shawn and I started dating, way way back on Christmas Day at three or four am, he and I had <i>maybe </i>Skyped once in our three year friendship. And I had a few pictures of him, but none that were exactly recent.</div><div><br></div><div>And now, looking back at pictures of Ted, I realize I really have just gone backwards. I may have moved up in the world (YAY FOR SHAWN BEING SUCCESSFUL!), but Shawn still just looks like Ted to me. And now that I've seen the resemblance, I can't go back to unseeing it.</div><div><br></div><div>I can't get it out of my mind.</div><div><br></div><div>Just great.</div><div><br></div><div>Hey, so guys.....I'm sorry I've been away.</div><div><br></div><div>Forgive me?</div><div><br></div><div>With love and brown eyes,</div><div><br></div><div>Half-Mad Writer</div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-674636984575442271.post-38596469815248188322014-04-15T22:37:00.001-04:002014-04-15T22:37:41.200-04:00~~Headache and Frustration~~<div dir='ltr'><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><i>I've never been so tired.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My head has never</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Hurt so much.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Pound,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Pound,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Pound.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Nails in my</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Skull.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Drumbeats</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Behind my</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Eyes.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Rhythm,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Rhyme--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>A meaningless</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Song.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Snippets of sound.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You bring out</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>The worst in me,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>So why</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Do I love you?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>You turn me</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Into a person</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I hate--</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But I can't even say</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I've been happier</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Than I am now.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>By your side,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Life makes sense.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Life makes sense,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>So why does</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>My head ache?</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Why does my</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Heart ache?</i></div> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16520210422068721253noreply@blogger.com1