Saturday, January 26, 2013

~~Never Had a Voice~~

Never had a voice to protest
As if I would use it if I did
You know more than most what I need
And why I always run back

I reach out to you
The Shadowed Memory
The Silent Man
And the Glowstone

I try to touch, but I'm burned
As if by flame
I pull my hand back, and watch
As the skin heals instantly

Back to the dark I retreat
To the inner pit of longing
When I imagine that I am alone
And can freely run

But don't think I'll protest
Being held captive by loving hands
I'll adore the kindness you grant me
While inside I curse myself for foolishness

I curse myself for loving
Those I know I shouldn't
Dreaming of someone undamaged
Who's strong enough to hold me

I curse the damaged ones
Who cling to me so tight
When I know they'll never understand
And should never see

Why I so often turn from them
And nurse my own wounds, accumulated
Through my own doing, more times than most
And wallow in my own self-hatred

Until it's time again to play your games
And I let you pull me from my shadowed hell
Where I so thrive
And into the light, where you kiss me gently

I don't protest your touches
I don't protest your kisses
I don't protest how much you care
I don't protest, because I'm dying inside

Just to know you're there
And that I'm really not alone
Even though, inside, I know I'm cold
At least in your company I feel something more

More than the self-hatred
More than the ever present fear
More than the cursed disease
And more than the eternal loneliness....

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I love you, random stranger. Thanks for dropping by, and for dropping a line. --Half Mad Writer