Surprise! Guess Who!

Thought I left all of you, did you?

Well, I wanted to drop in on you.

I wanted to say:

Hi.

I've been very happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. I'm in--finally--a much more stable relationship. My old guy, Shawn? Remember him?

THAT JERK LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER GIRL.

AFTER TOTALLY RUINING MY SELF-ESTEEM.

AND MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A WHORE.

-cough-

Okay, uh, yeah.

Well.

Sorry, I'm still a little touchy on that subject.

Anybutts, I am doing insanely well. I am--of course--dating again. At least, unofficially dating. He is wary of long distance, which I do understand--and, after Shawn, I am wary of dating in general--so he and I are taking things as they come. We've known each other for years, and I couldn't be happier.

He and I have a lot of shared interests, spend a huge amount of time together....He's everything I could ask for in a human, and the best part is?

In all the time we've known each other, he has never done a single thing but make me feel happy, loved, and supported.

I can't get over how much I love him.

How much I need him.

I'm addicted to him....

He and I do plan on being life partners. We're polyamorous (which does make the whole long distance thing easier, at least in my opinion) but we've agreed he and I are a package deal. No matter what happens, no matter where we go in life, no matter who else we meet--he and I are a package deal, and we remain a package deal of happy fun times. Also, if there is marriage in the future of either of us, it's to each other.

Yeah, that's what I love about him--through good times and bad, through me dating others and me running to him, he's been right there by my side. V, my wonderful rock--and, potentially, the ONE GUY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG.

Heh.

I can't believe it took me so long to really just...give in and love him. Realize that, even with how well I connected with Ian--and how well I seemingly connected with Shawn--V was always the one who I felt safest with.

V never made me feel anything but happy....

Okay, this is getting sappy.

I've lost thirty pounds. I've made good, and bad, choices. I have a new website, and a Facebook page. I'm happy with my life. I mean...I'm really happy with my life.

I'm doing well.

It's going to be a happy New Year....

With love and joy,

The Half-Mad Writer A. H. Wong

~~Surprise!!!--Life/Meta Post~~

These will not be the final words you ever hear from me, readers new and old. I love you, and I said I would never go.

So, I'm back again to haunt you with poetry and prose.

Go to my new website.

You will find me there.

I'm sorry I was gone so long, my loves.

I was in mourning for this place, and couldn't bear to write.

But I'm back now, and over the course of the next few days, all novels found here will be posted onto my new Wordpress blog.

With love and kindness,

Half-Mad Writer

~~This Blog has been Discontinued--Announcement and Goodbye Post~~

Due to the seemingly endless influx of spam, this blog will be closed. I have tried multiple times to cease this spam. If anyone has any following ideas, please do reach me at annashadowlight@hotmail.ca or leave a comment below.

Please disregard all following posts.

Except for the one that tells you the URL of my newest blog.

I'm so very sorry...

Have a final poem from me.

We had a good time.

I'm finding it hard to rhyme,

With these tears in my eyes.

They made my promises lies.

I said I would never go,

That you would always know

My every thought and sigh.

But now that time has come to die.

We had a good time, and I'll miss you.

When I had no one else, I had relied on you.

I took strength in your reading,

While you listened to my screaming.

You kept me so very safe,

And I never thought the bonds would chafe.

Now I've been released,

And I hate being freed.

I wish I could return

To a time I had come to learn

Was the best time of my life.....

It had saved my life.

Never forget me, or let me go.

Don't stop loving the girl you'd come to know.

Follow me wherever I may lead;

Listen to me forever, I plead!

Don't let this be goodbye.

Don't make your silent words a lie.

Follow me as I try to rhyme,

There is always going to be time.

This is the time to say goodbye.

I promise I won't fly

Away from you for long.

You'll never escape my song.

I love you all, in truth.

The path for me will never smooth,

But I don't mind--

I'll never leave you all behind.

~~Cheater~~

Liar, whore, slut, skank--

Bound by laws,

Not by honor.

Is it wrong

To scream 'rape'

When it is wanted?

I try to pretend

That this

ISN'T

My fault.

I invite

The hands

The cruelty

The loneliness.

I invite it all,

But lie and say

I don't.

Am I wrong,

Or am I right?

~~Another World~~

I dream of a shining world.

Where happiness and love

Come in waves.

I dream of another world,

A place where I'm at peace.

I dream of a world

Where I am safe,

But I don't know

If such a world

Exists.

Is there a place

Where I am happy and

Beautiful?

Is there another world?

Is there the world

Of my dreams--

Of magic and light,

Of wrong and of right,

Of battle, and of peace?

Is there the world of my dreams?

Is there a place

For me?

Is there a place

Where I am one of many?

Where my sins

Are known,

And forgiven?

Is there a place

Where I am whole?

Is there a place

Where you are with me

Forever?

Is there a place

Where I can finally

Fall asleep

In your arms?

Is there another world?

Is there a better world?

I want you to stay

In my world.

I want you to stay

With me.

~~Help Me Not~~

I'm happy here.

I'm happy

In my darkness.

I'm happy

In my light.

I'm happy

On the rollercoaster,

Tumbling from

Highs of

Perfect apparent sanity,

And lows of

Dark demise.

I'm happy tumbling

From high cliffs,

Unable to recall

Just how to fly

Until the very last instant

Before the spikes

Pierce my heart.

I am happy here.

I know you don't think so.

I know you believe

I'd be better off

If I accepted

Your assistance.

I know I need therapy.

I know I need to lose

Myself in pain

And drown myself

In pleasure.

I know I need to

Close myself off

More, or is it less?

Is it better

To be open

And let the light in,

Or closed

And keep the night out?

Teach me--

Is it better

To be me,

Or to be

You?

~~Inside My Eyes~~

I gaze out

At the world.

I register little--

Seeming to not see

The teachers

The classmates

The stars.

I seem not to see,

But I do see--

Inside my eyes

Lies

A world of joy

And hatred.

Tied up and torn,

A prisoner

To my memories--

Would I live my life

Another way

Than this?

Would I choose

Anything different

From this?

I chose my sins.

I chose my lies.

I chose my comforts.

I chose my victories.

I chose to suffer,

While you--

'Noble' watcher--

Chose to grow.

I know I won't

Win the race.

I know I won't

Get as far

As you.

Why?

Simply because

I choose not to.

Why race forward

When the entire world

Is a hotbed

Of danger and death?

Why not calmly

Walk along,

Knowing that

There is no escape

From the darkness behind--

Just like

There is no escape

From the darkness

Inside.

Inside my eyes,

I form a smile

And laugh as you wonder

Why I prefer

To be alone.